The Real Reason December Stresses Salon Owners (And How to Find Your Calm)

That knot in your stomach, those feelings of overwhelm, they're not coming from the fact that you're busy. After all, we have busy times during the rest of the year, and we manage to get in flow and enjoy it. So what's different about December? What is it that's stressing us out? Hello, hello, hello, my salon friends. Phil Jackson here, your queen of salons, coming all over the airwaves with another dose of wise owl wisdom. How on earth are you? Achingly well, I hope. And here we are, less than a week ahead of Christmas, this episode reaching your ears somewhere around the 19th of December. So we're on the homestretch, people. And how's it going for you? I'm hearing some good vibes coming from my accountability group. So every Friday morning, my accountability group jumps online, and I hold them accountable against their goals. And so it's a really useful check in for me and a really good way of taking the pulse of the industry in a very small way, and letting me know how things are going for people. And it looks like we're going to be finishing strong. It looks like we've got some strong figures coming through as far as takings are concerned. So I hope that's the case for you. It feels like the norm now is the beginning of December is a lot quieter than we were used to, perhaps historically, but the end of December sort of making up for it. Now, we need to bear that in mind in our marketing plans. And this is not going to be about marketing today. We've got plenty of that coming up in January. But we do need to make sure that the targets that we're setting, that the marketing that we're doing takes into account the rhythm and the pattern and the season of our business. So do bear it in mind when you're doing your January goal setting. I'm sure I will have more to talk about that coming up very soon. But today, I want to talk about how we are feeling pressured and stressed at the moment. And as I alluded in the introduction, the reason that we're feeling stressed is not because we're busy, because there are times throughout the year when we have busy spells. Usually the week before you go on holiday is always very busy. The week when you come back from a vacation is always really busy, too. So sometimes making you wonder why you bothered. But we don't feel stressed in the same way. We tend to get into flow with it. We tend to get into a rhythm and a pace and actually enjoy the extra bit of pressure because short term pressure is a good thing. It can be very motivating. But we tend to enjoy that pressure much more than we do this time of year.

So what's going on? And I think historically what we've done is put it down to the fact that we're busy at work and also busy at home. And we're not just trying to squeeze people in for those last minute appointments and those terribly disorganized people who call us with a day's notice and must get things done before Christmas. God bless them. We're juggling that with an awful lot to do at home in terms of getting the house ready, relagging the loft, getting all the gifts ordered, getting all the food in that we need over the coming couple of weeks. And I don't think that's quite the reason, because I think even that we could enjoy the flow. And there are some people that enjoy getting into that heightened state, getting into that rhythm and enjoy the whole process of putting a Christmas and New Year's together. So why do some people feel stressed? Well, I think it's actually a much deeper seated tension that we're feeling. And I think it's a tension around our values. I think it's because this time of year challenges our boundaries and challenges the things that we hold dear. So, for example, if one of the things that you value and one of the things that you prioritize in your life, either consciously or unconsciously, if one of those things is work-life balance, well, it's no wonder that this time of year pushes that out of kilter, pushes us into a state of anxiety, a state of stress, a state of tension, because there's a disconnect between the values that we hold dear and the way that we're performing and the way that we're living our lives in the moment. And that tension is what's causing the anxiety. It's not the fact we've got so much to do. It's the fact that our values are being pushed to one side. And because they are valuable to us, because they're important to us, that hurts. That bit of tension, that bit of anxiety that we're feeling is an indicator that we are out of kilter with our values. So what can we do about it? Well, unfortunately, there's no quick fix unless you know what your values are. And I think that will be a really worthwhile exercise for you, perhaps between Christmas and New Year, when you've slept off your sprouts and you've got yourself out of the self-induced diabetic coma that you've given yourself with all the bars of Toblerone.

Once we've recovered from that, so we've got that bit between Christmas and New Year. Even before you start setting your 2026 goals, why not spend a bit of time really figuring out what's important to you? What is a priority for you? And how can we do that? Well, there's a few things that we can do. The first is to start noticing your energy around particular things. So, for example, a really good example this time of year would be spending time with family. Does that energise you? Does it bring you joy in a way that is sustainable in the longer term? Or does it kind of wipe you out a little bit? Do we need that bit of time on our own in between visitors? Do we need to decompress from spending time around the family table? Because that will give you a clue as to whether spending time with family or spending a lot of time with family is a value of yours. So start noticing your energy around certain things. Myself, I am a solitary creature. I can be sociable when I need to be. I love spending time with my salon owner friends, for example. But even on our retreat, which is storming away, it's coming up in January and I'm very excited to be going to get some sunshine. But even on our retreat, I need time on my own to decompress because that's important to me. That feeling of solitude doesn't spook me at all. In fact, it's necessary for me to recharge my batteries. So start noticing the flow of your energy, what brings you energy, what saps your energy. That will give you some clues as to what your values might be. Next up, have a look at what you're doing. So have a look at where you're spending your time, because I think instinctively, over a longer period of time, we prioritize the things that are valuable to us. So if you look at your journal, if you look at your calendar, if you look at your diary and you can see that it's filled with social activities with friends, well, chances are that's important to you and one of your values might be friendship. If, however, it's filled with, I don't know, deep research into all sorts of geeky topics, a little bit like me, if I'm honest, if you're spending your time researching and reading, I'm just reading a book about Aristotle at the moment for no better reason than the fact that I find it kind of fascinating. Well, that process of learning, that process of study is probably something that I hold very dear and very valuable. The third thing you could do is to ask other people what they think your values might be. Now, don't just drop it on them. Explain to them what it is that you're trying to figure out about yourself. And also be prepared to take some of the feedback that you get with a pinch of salt, because people only see what we show them.

And sometimes what we show them is not necessarily completely authentic or completely aligned. But assuming that you've got some friends that know you well, ask them what they think your values might be. And then finally, a solitary exercise is to get yourself a deck of values cards and you can treat yourself on Amazon. They're not very much money at all. Or if you if you chuck it into Mr. Google and find and search for values cards, there is actually a set of values cards which you can download for free. They've got no copyright on them. They were written by a couple of, I think, sociologists or maybe psychologists. And essentially what you have is three headers, things that are important to you, things that are not important to you and things that are very important to you. And then there's about 80 different values on cards. So you can download these for yourself, print them out, cut them into the individual cards. And then basically what you do is go through each value and prioritize it, put it into one of those three columns. Then you take the stuff that's under the very important column and reduce it right down. You choose your top 10. And it should be kind of a painful process. So the way that I approach this, and actually I'm going to be doing this with my with my attendees on our retreat in January, I encourage you to allocate them to those three columns very, very quickly to whiz through. Don't give it too much thought. Go with your gut instinct. But that process of reducing down and prioritizing and putting one value against the other, spend a bit of time because you've called them all very important to you. It's going to hurt a bit to push some of them to one side and some of them you'll notice will depend on others. And then once you've reduced it down to 10, I want you to reduce it again by half. I want you to just select your top five values. And then the next stage and the painful bit and the bit that will give you clues as to why you're feeling drained this time of year. Have a look at your life. Are you prioritizing these values at the moment? Are you living in alignment with the things that you've identified as important? Can be a bitter pill. But my goodness, how much more powerful are your New Year's resolutions and your business goals and your personal goals going to be once you've got really keen awareness of exactly what's important to you and important in your life?

This is the work. And it's actually a really fun exercise, too. Now, the interesting thing, just as a final aside, if you have done this exercise before, you might say, well, I know what my values are. Do it again, because I had pretty good awareness of what I thought my values were. But I hadn't done the exercise for several years. Did it again recently, a couple of months ago, as part of a program that I'm studying at the moment. And my values had shifted, they changed because your priorities change, your life stage changes, things move and adapt around you. And what was important to you three or four years ago may not be a priority anymore. So it's interesting to see how those values adapt, how they develop that bit of self-awareness can go an awful long way into making a much happier bunny. Now, once you've set your values, of course, you want someone to hold you accountable. And I would love that person to be me. Head over to buildyoursalon.com. You will see that I've got an offer on my Salon Spark membership at the moment. So this is a month by month membership with no commitment beyond the month. And basically what we have is a wonderful WhatsApp group filled with the very best salon business owners you can possibly imagine. And then every Friday morning at 7.30 in the morning UK time, we jump online and I hold you accountable to the goals that you set. You also get the opportunity to have a little clarity call with me at the beginning of each month to figure out what we're going to be working on together for the coming few weeks. I know that this is what's missing in most people's lives. I know that you don't necessarily need to be signing up for more information and another course. Sometimes we just need to get shit done. And that's what Salon Spark is all about. So head over to buildyoursalon.com. I'd love to be welcoming you through the doors. Now, of course, there's a wonderful offer at the moment, which is actually launching on Boxing Day. But you get a sneaky peek, priority look. You can actually get your first month of Salon Spark for just one pound. So you get to test the group out, see whether it's going to fit for you, have the clarity call with me at the beginning of the month, turn up for some of the accountability calls and see whether it's a good fit for you with no commitment at all. I'd love to be welcoming you through the doors early in 2026.

So buildyoursalon.com is where you need to head next. Just a few short days until I'm coming all over the airwaves again. This was going to be my last podcast episode of this year, but actually I think we might sneak another one in next week so that I can wish you all a very Merry Christmas if that's your vibe. And until then, my darlings, please take care.