Staff Drama: Handle It or Hide From It?

Your team's been cooped up together all winter, you've got three people not talking, one being a bitch, and one being passive-aggressive, and you're hiding in the office wondering why on earth you bother. Today, how to handle the drama. Hello, hello, hello my salon friends, Phil Jackson here, your queen of salons, coming all over the internet with a big dose of my Wise Owl wisdom. How on earth are you? Achingly well, I hope, nearly at the end of February, nearly into March. I always think March is going to be spring, and it never is. It's always another month of winter, and it always catches me unawares, but I can see the days getting lighter. I can feel that things are just about to burst into life. Thank goodness for daffodils, that's what I say. So, how are things for you? I've got some good news in my coaching group this week. We've had some really strong results over the weekend, and it looks like there's going to be some people ticking some boxes in their goal setting for February. How's it been in your salon business? Reach out and let me know. I love hearing from you. I'm not going to sell you something. I mean, I probably will, or I'll try, but not straight away. You know, we'll have a chat first. But I'd love to hear from you. I love hearing from my salon owner friends. It's how I stay in touch. It's how I keep my fingers on the pulse. It's how I stay relevant. So, reach out and let me know how you're doing. This episode, all about the drama that unfolds in teams, and I get it. It's that time of year when small irritations have become big dramas. Perhaps we've got people not pulling their weight now that things aren't quite as busy as they have been towards the end of last year. Perhaps you've got people being a bit passive aggressive. Perhaps you've got some backbiting, some bitching going on. And you know that you need to deal with it, but you also know that confrontation is hard. You know that recruitment is hard. So, what are you doing? You're hiding and hoping it resolves itself. Well, it won't, darling, but Uncle Phil is here for you. And I'm going to teach you how to actually handle it. Because drama does not age like wine, my darling. It sours like milk. And the longer you leave it, the worse it's going to get. So, two types of drama. The first is actually easier to deal with. And that's when people have got legitimate grievances, but they're expressing them badly. So, there might be team members that have a real problem that actually needs dealing with, but they don't have the skills. They don't have the know-how around communication and raising it professionally. So, perhaps they're not very pleased about the way that scheduling is working out.

Or perhaps they feel that there's favouritism in the team. Or they're frustrated. They're not feeling that they've got progress. Or there's a lack of training. Or they're putting up with broken, faulty equipment. So, they're getting frustrated. But because they don't have the skills around communication, it's coming out as bitching. It's coming around as an attitude problem or being uncooperative, that passive aggression thing. The problem is real. It's the expression of the problem that is unprofessional. So, we've got two jobs to do. The first is we've got to address the underlying issue. Because it's legitimate. It needs fixing. It's actually an indication that something could improve in your business. But you've also got to coach better communication. And I'm telling you now, this is absolutely key if you have a younger team. Because that face-to-face communication, those personal relationships in a room, people facing each other, younger teams struggle with. They are much more comfortable hiding behind a keyboard, behind a device, behind a phone. They're much less connected in person than perhaps you and I were as we were growing up. So, they need teaching how to, coaching rather. Teaching is a bit condescending. But they need coaching on better communication. We need to put the systems in place that mean that they can be heard and that we can hold space for them. The second type of conflict is a little bit harder. It's around personality conflicts and drama-seeking. And some people just like drama. Some people just genuinely clash. They just don't get on. Or someone's going through personal stuff. And this is a big problem in the salon industry. They're going through personal stuff. They've got problems at home. And they're bringing it to work. I have an example from my own business where I took on two stylists on the same day with the same level of qualification. And they were supported by the same marketing to get their columns busy. Nine months later, one is busy and the other one isn't. And honestly, the biggest thing that was a problem for the person who wasn't getting busy is that she was bringing the personal stuff in. She was going through a tough time. She was splitting up with her boyfriend. They were really struggling. And all of her clients knew about it. And even though they're making the right noises. Even though they're supportive. Even though they're giving you that gentle encouragement and perhaps a kind listening ear. That's not what they came in for.

So, bringing it into work is not the way to go. That's when we end up with gossip. It's when we end up with cliques. It's when we end up excluding people or undermining people. And I've had it in my own business where people have been undermining me in this gossip in all these cliques. So, there's no legitimate business grievance there. There's no business thing for us to fix. There's just drama for drama's sake. So, what we need there is really hard boundaries. And really strong consequences. And maybe an exit. And I think that's a bitter pill to swallow as a salon owner. So, how do we tell the difference? How do we know whether there's a decent underlying issue or not? How do we know if they're a type 1 or a type 2? Well, the first thing we do is we call it out. We need to have those difficult conversations. And there are lots and lots of really good resources. Just Google it. Throw it into Google. Ask for advice on having difficult conversations. Don't wait for a formal review. Don't wait for a performance meeting. Address it as soon as you notice it. Because, and this is a phrase that I've used again and again and again in my coaching, team members are icebergs. The bit that you notice is 10% of what's going on underneath the surface. So, if you've noticed it, be specific and talk about it. Say something like, I've noticed you've been a bit short with your clients this week. Or, your attitude is not quite what I'm used to from you. Or, I've noticed that you didn't seem very happy in our team meeting. Don't be ambiguous. They need to know that this has been noticed. And then we switch on our ears and we shut the F up, darlings. Even when you've got 47 things that you want to say. Let them explain. Hear them. Go through the difficult silence. Silence is an amazing tool in listening. Trust me. But often, that drama can be a symptom of something legitimate. And that gives us something that we can work with and we can fix. Maybe you've got a bitchy beauty therapist who's actually just exhausted because she's the only one doing all the clearing up. Or perhaps you've got a difficult diva stylist who's just frustrated because people keep stealing our section clips. Trust me. This is a bigger deal than you think, my darlings. Perhaps you've got that dramatic receptionist who's actually just being undermined by another team member. Listen for what the actual problem is behind the behaviour. What's the cause of it? You might discover that maybe even you're part of the problem. And that's the really easy stuff to fix. Next, we need to set some really clear expectations and consequences for if things don't improve. So, state what behaviour needs to change. Be specific. I need you to stop discussing other team members' performance with your clients.

I need you to stop bringing your personal problems in and state the consequence. If this continues, we're going to need to review your position here and tell them that you will check in in a week or so. This is not negotiable. You're the boss. You set the standards. We've given them a chance to talk. We've listened really, really hard for legitimate issues that we can fix. We're committed to doing our bit. Now, we need commitment from them that their behaviour is going to change regardless. And then the final step, and this is the bit where everybody pulls back, is you've got to follow through. Check in when you said you were going to. If the behaviour's improved, acknowledge it. If the behaviour hasn't improved, you need to be prepared to take that next step. And you need to follow through on that consequence. Don't make threats that you won't keep. And I know that sometimes the diva is the one that's bringing in the most money. And I know it's not easy to recruit a replacement in this day and age. But remember that iceberg, that 10% that you're seeing is doing so much more damage to your business underneath the water. Truth number one, you can't fix everybody. Some people are just dramatic. Some people don't want to change. Some people love the drama and the conflict. Your job is not to fix them. It's not to change them. It's to protect your business. It's to move them to an environment where they can thrive. And that may not be with you. Sometimes the answer is that you got the recruitment wrong in the first place and you've got to fix that. Truth number two, keeping those drama makers is costing you. It will increase your staff turnover. Good staff won't tolerate drama in the long term. They will leave before the diva does. So you're choosing to keep the problem in your business and potentially losing good people along the way. You've got to remove problems. And truth number three, you avoiding this situation is making it worse. When you don't address it, they lose respect because they think that behavior is acceptable. You're sending the message that drama is tolerated here and that can't carry on. And the final truth, the bitter pill, is that sometimes you're the problem. Sometimes it's about you not making your expectations clear. It's about you not putting those boundaries in. It's about you tolerating bad behavior. Perhaps there is some favoritism going on there. And I know I've been there. It's so much easier to get on with people that are turning up, doing a good job, making me money. And the ones that aren't, it is really easy to slip into that favoritism. Maybe you've got a lack of systems, which means that your decision making feels very chaotic and perhaps a little unfair.

If lots of people have got the same complaint, have a look at your systems. Don't blame individuals for the things that you're getting wrong in your business. So there we have it. What have I missed? What's going on in your salon business? What's going on in your team? I would love to hear from you. My email address scrolling at the bottom of the screen. Phil at buildyoursalon.com Also, if you are struggling with those bigger business problems, with those deeper business structure problems where you've got unclear expectations or poor systems or lack of leadership, that's exactly what I'm here to fix. That's what we address in my ultimate clarity program. My email address at the bottom of the screen or you can head over to buildyoursalon.com for the details. I'd love to be helping you get more from your team and your salon business. Just a few short days until I'm coming all over the internet again with another dose of my wise owl wisdom. And until then, my darlings, take care. Take care. Take care. Take care. Take care. Take care. Take care. Take care.