Disconnect and Recharge: The Power of Unplugging for Personal Growth

Sit down and see what's going on with the Queen of Salons. Hair, beauty, and more successful tips for business owners. All on Build Your Salon. Hello, hello, hello my salon friend. How on earth are you? Phil Jackson here, your Queen of Salons, here to help you through your week with a few more hints and tips from the wise old owl of the salon industry. How are you doing? How is May treating you? Lots of strong results being delivered by my one-to-one clients. May seems to be finally the month that the patchiness in our appointment book starts to dry up and all of a sudden we're starting to really smash some of those goals that we set way back in January. I hope that's the same story for you. I hope that there is success on the horizon for 2023, having had a little bumpy start for an awful lot of us. Why not share your results? Why not reach out to me? Phil at buildyoursalon.com. I'd love to hear how business is treating you and also if you've got any suggested topics for the Build Your Salon podcast, I'd love to hear those too. Today, we're going to take a slightly different tack. So I've spent the last few months teaching you hints and tips and hacks that I've picked up through my business coaching in order to improve your salon business. But lots of stuff is a little bit softer than that. And there are lots of things that business coaches help with, which aren't quite so cut and dried. And the reason that so many of us business coaches like sharing business tips and particularly tips to increase your turnover is to be honest with you, if we can help you make more money, it makes us look good. And sometimes we need to focus on some of the other stuff that we're helping people with. And one of the main reasons that people come to me as a business coach is because they are feeling overwhelmed. And it's very difficult to measure overwhelm apart from you came to me feeling one way and hopefully by the end of our relationship together, you'll start feeling a bit better. But it's difficult to measure, difficult to put numbers around, which is why we don't really talk about it an awful lot. But a big part of what I do is helping people, well, in fact, it's the name of one of my programs, do less and achieve more. Because I want you to be working smarter, not harder. I want you to be building a business which supports your life goals, not a business that gets in the way of them.

So today's topic, I want to talk a little bit about how we can protect our mental health, protect ourselves from overwhelm by altering our relationship with technology. Because, of course, in the modern world, we rely on technology for almost everything. And technology is always with us from our wonderful smartphones to our hefty old laptops and our smartwatches. We're continually connected to that digital world. And, of course, I'm a nerd. I'm a geek. I love technology. And I recognise that technology has made our lives so much easier and so much more convenient. But also bear in mind, we are on a battlefield because those devices have been designed and engineered by people far, far smarter than I in order to keep you on screen for as long as possible. And those devices are designed to be addictive because so many of the apps that we're using, so many of the bits of software that we're using, have a financial incentive to keep you on platform. So many of those apps only get paid when you have to sit through the interminable ads in between rounds of your favourite game. So they're designed to keep you on that phone for as long as possible. And I think that is a negative for us. I think we do need to take some breaks from technology. And the in phrase for this at the moment, of course, is unplugging. And we need to unplug regularly. So why do we need to? Why is unplugging important? I think one of the most significant benefits of unplugging from technology is it reduces stress levels. And this is something that I noticed almost immediately when I started to break my dependence and my habit on technology. Technology has created this always on culture where we're expected to be available 24-7. My God, I've had lovers that I'm not available to 24-7. I'm certainly not going to be available to an app 24-7. But we're constantly checking emails, dipping into our social media accounts and our news feeds. And it leads to feelings, I think, of being pretty stressed out, being very overwhelmed. And I think when we start to unplug from technology, we give ourselves a break from that constant noise, that constant stimulation. I think that reduces our stress levels and promotes a better sense of relaxation. And while we're talking about relaxation, I think this is, in fact, I know this is where my journey of unplugging began. It was around my sleep quality. And I'm absolutely determined to treat sleep as one of the most important features of my day.

I really do think our relationship with sleep is kind of broken. And it seems that the number of hours that we sleep is negotiable. And I don't think it should be that way. It's when the body and the mind heal and repair. So we need to look after our sleep quality. And we all know that those devices that emit blue light suppress the production of the hormones that regulate sleep. So melatonin is the hormone that regulates sleep. And that's interfered with by blue light. So when we're using those devices in bed, it can disrupt our sleep cycle, make it harder to fall asleep. And I think that, in fact, I know in my own case, if I can unplug from technology at least an hour before bedtime, we can improve our sleep quality and make it easier to fall asleep too. So I go to bed very early, which means that I have to switch off from technology very early. And all I've done is set myself an alarm on my phone, which goes off an hour before my desired bedtime, telling me to switch off. And it is tough sometimes. And it can feel a little bit antisocial. And honestly, I was getting feelings of anxiety. We talk about reduction of stress. I was feeling stressed by feeling that I was letting my clients down by being unattainable, by being out of reach for that hour before bedtime. But to be honest with you, there's nothing wrong with putting some boundaries in place. And we're going to talk about boundaries very shortly. I think one of the things that I didn't really understand when I started to unplug was the impact that technology has on our creativity. I think our minds being constantly bombarded with information, well, there's no room left for your thoughts, your creativity, your daydreaming. And I think when we start to move away from technology, it does give us a bit more mental space. And we need to think creatively in our businesses and our day-to-day lives and come up with those new ideas. And I don't think technology helps. So being a nerd, being a geek, people are always very surprised that I carry an old-fashioned paper journal with me. Because when I do feel the need to explore an idea, I can't do that on an app. Well, I could, but I don't think it would work quite as well. I think there's something about that pen-to-paper relationship, those spider diagrams, those lists, those moments where we can just get ideas down really quickly in a very messy way and then organise those thoughts and draw arrows and underline and highlight things.

I think we have a different relationship with our thoughts when we put them down on paper. Also, of course, if we're unplugging and doing things manually, or I suppose analogue, we would call that now, it also means that we're not getting those interruptions, those notifications from all those apps. So I think we get more creative thinking done by unplugging as well. I think that technology has made us a lot more efficient, but it can be a massive distraction. And all those notifications, those social media updates, those email alerts, they do disrupt our focus, make it harder to get things done. And as we can start to eliminate those distractions, I think we see an increase in productivity. I think there's also something a bit softer going on, and the softer thing that I'm talking about is that there's an awful lot we can do with technology where we're pretending to work, where we're pretending that we're productive, where we're pretending that we're actually achieving something, when actually we're just fudging around on Instagram and looking at thirst traps and watching people shampoo carpets. I think, personally, unplugging has improved my mental health. I think reducing that stress, reducing that anxiety, taking a break from those sources of information has helped promote my overall well-being, and I don't think I'm alone in that too. I also think it's changed my perspective on a lot of things. I feel like I have more of my own opinions now, rightly or wrongly, you may agree or disagree with them. But I do think that this kind of brainwashing that happens when we're plugged into technology all the time does mean that we're regurgitating other people's ideas and thoughts. And I think that taking a break from technology can help us just form our own opinions in a slightly more definite way. And I think it also provides perspective because we can start to appreciate nature, we can engage with our communities, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. I think unplugging allows us to cultivate mindfulness because electronic devices, whether we love them or not, is ultimately a distraction. And we can be more present, we can fully engage with our surroundings, with our loved ones, reduce our stress, improve focus, improve overall well-being. So many ticks in boxes as far as unplugging is concerned. I would love to say that unplugging has helped my relationships improve, meaningful relationships, because when we're always on our devices, we're not fully present, are we?

There's so many mealtimes now where my kids, we have a rule in my house. If you're eating in the kitchen, you're allowed to have your device in front of you. If you're eating in the dining room, then devices get put away. And I do think that we miss out on lots of those important interactions, those experiences with friends and family and people that we care about. And unplugging does allow us to be more present. The problem is, if it's a one-sided thing, it doesn't really work. So I've unplugged a little bit around mealtimes. I'm more present and I think I'm more available to my family when I'm at home and we've got those times around the table. The problem is if they've got a device in their hand, it doesn't actually work. So until they've decided to unplug too, I don't think that strengthening of our relationships, that strengthening in our connections has quite happened for me yet. The other thing that I haven't really noticed is lots of people are touting an improvement in physical health when they unplug from technology. Honestly, the technology I use is probably better for my physical health. It certainly does a lot more around nagging me to work out and lots of my yoga workouts are on my phone. And I was monitoring my workouts with my phone as well. So I don't think that I've enjoyed that benefit quite so much. But it's touted a lot that if we can put the technology to one side, we can improve our posture, we can improve our tendency to get out and about and move our bodies a little bit more. Are you feeling like you're stuck in a rut? Like you're just going through the motions or that whatever you do, the next level in your business stays just out of reach? Well, it's time to shake things up. With one-to-one coaching, you'll have buckets of support, inspiration and accountability to help you bring the buzz back to your salon business. Whether you're looking to achieve a specific goal or just feeling that things are lonely at the top and you want someone to coach you to be the best version of yourself, I am here to support you. And don't worry, even though it's called coaching, I won't make you join a gym and I will never suggest you give up your Toblerone habit. What's the alternative? More of the same? Come on, you can do better than that. Ping me an email at phil at buildyoursalon.com with the subject line coaching and I will send you all the details. I can't wait to help you on your journey to salon success.

So how do we go about unplugging? And I know it can be challenging because we've got so accustomed to being connected all the time and the FOMO is real, darling. The fear of missing out is a real tangible thing for so many people. So how do we start? Well, I would start with those boundaries. I would start with that hour. And I know that an hour feels like an awful long time before bedtime, particularly if you're used to scrolling, if you've got into that habit of checking your phone immediately before you go to bed. Take a little detox just for an hour before bedtime. And now I built up to this. I started with 30 minutes and then just each week, just made sure that I'd increased by five or 10 minutes until I got to an hour. And that was kind of half of the picture. Certainly, I started to improve my sleep pattern. Not so much that I was getting more sleep, but I was certainly going to sleep quicker. Now, I don't know if that was a coincidence. There were a number of habits that I was changing at the time. So perhaps it was nothing to do with unplugging an hour before bedtime, but it certainly didn't do any harm. Now, the bit that was missing for me, though, is I needed to create a plan. I needed to create a plan for what I was going to be doing instead of using my devices an hour before bedtime. Because if you suddenly find yourself with empty hands and nothing to do, my goodness, why would you be in bed with empty hands and nothing to do? But if you are in bed with empty hands and nothing to do, the temptation is you pick up the device and then start scrolling again. So I had to give myself something else to replace it. And what that meant was to stop buying all of my books on Kindle and start buying some paperback and hardback books and actually just reading for that hour. And then we fostered another dog. So I don't know if you know this about me, darling, but I'm a big animal lover. I've always thought that animals were much better than people. And we've now fostered a dog who needs a wee before bedtime. So part of that hour is me going for a walk. And I did think that that hour could be the time when I connect with my family. But again, if it's a one-sided thing and I don't want to connect with you, well, that's a tough thing to have. But have that plan in place. It makes it much easier to resist the temptation to keep checking your phone or your computer. I did turn off all notifications on my phone. That actually did start causing me a bit of anxiety. But it was a good starting point. I then had to go through and figure out exactly who I wanted to hear from. And I will say, you know, I use an iPhone. I'm sure this kind of technology is available on all phones now.

But it's getting much easier for you to be able to set who you need to hear from and who you don't. So, for example, I have all my notifications switched off, except for certain people, because my mother is very elderly. She's in her 80s. She lives on her own. So I wouldn't want to miss a call or message from her, because it might well be something that's actually quite urgent. And I think the phones have got much more sophisticated in filtering out who we do and don't want to hear from. When the goal is to unplug from technology, it's not always possible to completely delete it from our lives. And I don't think I would want to. But it's about that mindless scrolling. It's about that kind of filling in the gaps. And I think that using technology a lot more mindfully is really useful. I think setting specific times when you're going to check email and check other apps. This was a tough one for me. I actually managed to measure the number of times that I checked my email in a day, and it was over 70 times a day, which is an extraordinary amount. But bear in mind that most of my day is spent at my desk. And I don't think that's actually that unusual for someone who works in front of a screen all day. But trying to set certain times when I was going to check email, that was a tough one. And I had to set a lot of times initially. So it was every hour I'd be checking my email. So even though 10 times a day feels like an awful lot to people, actually, that's where I had to start. Now I'm down to about four times a day. I wish I could be that person who doesn't check my email before 10 in the morning. I can't. Just not at the moment anyway. I'm not in that frame of mind. I have tried to create spaces in my home that are tech-free zones. So, for example, I've already mentioned the dining table is a zero-tech zone. No one's allowed to bring their devices to the dining table. And I've made it a rule not to use devices in that room at all. So we use that space for playing games together. We use that space, obviously, for eating and having conversations. So what I try to do if we have friends around for, I don't know, afternoon tea. That sounds very posh, doesn't it? It sounds like I'm the queen entertaining people for afternoon tea. But I do invite people for afternoon tea. Or if they're coming around for drinks, I tend to try and keep us in the dining room as much as possible because we've got out of the habit of checking phones and we can just be a bit more present with those people that we've invited into the home. The afternoon tea thing, by the way, as a slight aside, darling, it's a perfect time to entertain people who you're not quite sure whether you're going to enjoy their company or not.

Because if an afternoon tea is a bit of a slog, if it's a bit of a chore, if things aren't going well and the conversation's not flowing, it's perfectly acceptable to throw them out at about 5.30 in the evening. But if it's going really well, then we can crack open the PIMS and move on to some booze and make it a bit of an evening too. So I like afternoon tea. It's very flexible. I have mentioned already you've got to find alternatives. If you're going to unplug, you need to find other ways to communicate, other ways to entertain yourself. Otherwise, you're going to find yourself scrolling mindlessly. It's the bloody reels that get me every time. As soon as I can see someone valeting a car or shampooing a rug, what the hell do people do to these rugs, by the way, to get them in that kind of state? They must be putting posh rugs in horses' stables or something. I've got no idea how you get a rug in that kind of state. But as soon as I see that on a reel, I'm hooked. And, of course, the algorithm knows that. So we've got to find other ways to entertain ourselves. So reading is one that has worked really well for me. We've actually started playing games as a family, which is, I don't know, it feels very Victorian to me. But we've been getting some card games out. And instead of texting or emailing, I have gone old school now. And, you know, my mother, bless her heart, she loves a good text conversation. But once we get past two messages, I just pick up the phone now and have a chat with her instead. I am spending more time outside. I'm not going to pretend that this is a set-in-stone habit for me. But we've got this dog at the moment that we fostered, so he needs lots of walks. And also, it's a pretty good time of year. I love the spring. I love May. I love the nice lengthening days. I don't know whether that's going to stick once we get to the end of October and things start closing in and get a bit gloomy again. But for now, it's certainly helped me unplug, spending a bit more time in nature. I have set some challenges, and I've won them all, I have to say. If I need some accountability, I love a little challenge or a sticker chart. Or get someone to give up technology with you. And other people have caved before I. So whether it's because it was my idea and they weren't really bought into the idea of unplugging, I'm not sure. But that can work for people too. So also celebrate those little wins. So even if we're only turning off our phones maybe 10 minutes before we go to bed or 15 minutes, it doesn't have to jump straight in with these massive shifts in behaviour, these huge habits that we may or may not stick to.

Increase the amount of time that you're spending unplugged until you're comfortable with longer periods of time. And celebrate each win at every stage of the way. But be patient with yourself. It's a process. It's a process that I'm enduring and actually quite enjoying. I'm enjoying the challenge of it. I'm enjoying having those moments of observation on my own habits. I'm enjoying that slightly disconnected view of how I'm spending my day. So when I do end up checking my phone or pressing refresh on my emails, I'm kind of smiling at myself. It's okay to slip up and use those devices, but don't get discouraged by it. Keep that slightly playful view of unplugging. And I think that will serve you a lot better. So it can be a challenge. I guess ultimately, and what I'm going to be journaling out for myself over the next few days, is trying to figure out what it is that I need distracting from. What is it that's so scary about being alone with my thoughts that mean I'm constantly reaching for my phone? Is it just a muscle memory thing? Is it just a reflex? Is it just a habit? Or is there something a bit deeper going on? What's so frightening about being quiet just by yourself? So that's what I'm going to be journaling out. Perhaps it's a decent journal prompt for you. The book that triggered all this for me, and I've tried very hard not to steal ideas from this book, because I do highly recommend it. A chap called Cal Newport, who's helped me personally, not in person, but he's helped various aspects of my life improve. And he's written a book called Digital Minimalism, and he explores the impact of technology on our lives and gives some decent practical advice on reducing that digital clutter. So a slightly different tack on the Build Your Salon podcast today. I hope you found it interesting and useful. If you did, reach out phil at buildyoursalon.com. You know I love hearing from my hairy, beautiful friends, and I love hearing about what's going on in your lives too. We'll head back to the safety of business tips next week, and you can let me know whether you enjoy this little diversion or not. Just seven short days until I'm coming in your ears again, my darlings. Until then, take care. Sit down and see what's going on with the queen of salons. Hair, beauty and more successful tips for business owners.

All on Build Your Salon.