40. The ONLY opinion that matters is from your customer

Hi everyone, this is the weekly Build Your Salon podcast with me, Phil Jackson. I'm here with the tools you need to generate the profits you deserve so that you can lead a fuller life. Hello and welcome. Slight change of pace this week. I'm going to relax a little bit and talk to you, I hope, as a friend. We have a vulnerability in our business, in our industry, in fact, and that vulnerability comes about by the very nature of what it is that we do because, you see, we are people pleasers. We have to be. There are many industries where your job, your career, your success relies on the fact that you can maintain an intimate, friendly relationship with somebody over a long period of time. Yes, there are sales positions where you're expected to strike up a lot of rapport very quickly. But you think about the number of years that you see your regular customers for. There aren't many trades like ours. The problem is that vulnerability plays out when we are people pleasers outside our industry as well. I'll give you an example. I had a phone call this week. Very often I get approached by other business mentors and coaches and we just have a kind of getting to know you call. And I had one of these calls this week with a very nice guy who I hadn't spoken to before. He'd obviously come across my work in the past, though, and he made one tiny throwaway comment in the hour and a half that we were on the phone, which he didn't mean anything by it. There was no malice behind it, but it had a real impact on me. So I've been in the hairdressing industry for about 20 years. So I've learnt how to be a people pleaser the same as you have. And he said, I didn't expect to like you. So he'd watched my videos and formed a kind of opinion about me, about the kind of person that I was. And that didn't play out when we were talking face to face or Skype to Skype during our hour and a half conversation. He said, I didn't expect to like you. Now, he didn't mean anything by it. He wasn't being horrible. He's a really, really nice guy. But that tiny little comment out of the whole hour and a half is what stayed with me after. And I started to overanalyse a little bit, I suppose, and I was lying in bed that night thinking, what am I doing wrong that makes people want to, you know, that switches people off, that means they don't like me. And I wondered about the content of my videos because I always do these videos with an open heart

and I try and share as much as I can with you in the few minutes that we have together. And my intention is always that you have a stronger business at the end of one of these videos than you did at the beginning. So I'm coming from a nice place. I'm a good guy. And I wondered where I was going horribly wrong. And I started to play all different scenarios out in my mind and make myself a little bit paranoid. And this went on for a number of days, nearly a week, in fact, before I kind of had to give myself a bit of a slap around the face and a wake up call. And I had to remind myself that actually, in our industry, yes, it's very important that we can build those personal relationships, maintain those personal relationships for a number of years because our customers have the only opinion that matters. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Now, this guy is a really nice guy and I've actually really enjoyed our chat, so I hope we get to chat again soon. But he's not my customers. He's not you. He's not my audience. So actually, even though he had an opinion, it didn't really matter. So I'm giving you full permission to ignore as many opinions about your business as you would like. From now on, you can learn from my week of paranoia and I hope that there's a little bit to help protect you. I used to work with a guy many years ago, really nice guy, but he was a bit of a hippie. He was a bit out there and he fancied himself as a clairvoyant and a psychic as well. And he gave me a beautiful mental image, which has stayed with me forever. And that was that he, do you remember those beaded curtains we all had in the 70s covering doorways, these kind of strings of beads? Well, he said he imagined one of those between him and a customer or him in the outside world. And he could put his hands through the beaded curtain and do his work. But that beaded curtain was always there to protect him. And it's a beautiful mental image, which I hope that you will ponder on for a couple of seconds and try and figure out how it is that you protect yourself from the opinions of others. Because there are people out there who will try and tell you that you are too ambitious. There are people out there who will tell you that the things that you are striving for are beyond you or unrealistic. Or maybe that you don't even deserve them. Those are the kinds of opinions that will hold you back. These people aren't coming from a place of harm. They're not trying to hurt you unless they're your competitors. But what they are trying to do is stay comfortable with you.

And it's uncomfortable for people to watch you change. So recognize the fear in others and then also recognize that their opinions are not valid. The only opinion that's important in your business is that of your customer. I hope that's been helpful to you. If it has, don't forget to subscribe. I do a broadcast like this every single Monday and I would hate you to miss out on the content that I'm sharing. If you've already subscribed, I will see you again next week. Take care. Hey everyone, it's Phil again. I hope you enjoyed the episode. If you did, please subscribe and be sure to tell your friends. For more help and information on running your salon and your life, head over to buildyoursalon.com. I'll see you there. I'll see you there. I'll see you there.